..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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