i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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