You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize