Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's blow job season.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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