fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
