omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize