So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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