Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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