im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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