No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
