You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
