he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i out mim tonsoeep
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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