i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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