I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
