so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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