so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
