She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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