i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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