So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
