There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
