Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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