So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
