we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
