Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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