Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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