I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
