I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
