YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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