is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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