we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
