don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
