i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
