the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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