Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
