Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
