I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
