Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  OMG. Drunk.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.

  (718): View more from New York

  Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.

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  (718): OMG. Drunk. (662): I'm so glad you fill me in on these things. (718): Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter. http://tfl.nu/my1k
  Replies (8) Good night (1243) Bad night (649)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Shittttttt.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.

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  (734): I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy. (1-734): Shittttttt. (734): Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy. http://tfl.nu/htfb
  Replies (33) Good night (9974) Bad night (900)
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  (714): View more from California

  dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"

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  (714): dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes" http://tfl.nu/s663
  Replies (39) Good night (3997) Bad night (681)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.

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  (313): so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it. http://tfl.nu/rth5
  Replies (1) Good night (2896) Bad night (595)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.

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  (410): i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in. http://tfl.nu/63c6
  Replies (39) Good night (4323) Bad night (931)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.

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  (615): I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower. http://tfl.nu/v1s4
  Replies (33) Good night (5472) Bad night (1099)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here

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  (850): Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here http://tfl.nu/hhg1
  Replies (16) Good night (5464) Bad night (1261)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?

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  (303): Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog? http://tfl.nu/kw07
  Replies (13) Good night (1849) Bad night (2726)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Drunk

  (845): View more from New York

  Deyhxbr

  (845): View more from New York

  Fucaerrrrr

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  (845): Drunk (845): Deyhxbr (845): Fucaerrrrr http://tfl.nu/ddt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2687) Bad night (742)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?

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  (478): First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing? http://tfl.nu/cqnb
  Replies (1) Good night (1511) Bad night (875)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's gameday bitch. Man up.

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  (336): I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged. (412): It's gameday bitch. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dewp
  Replies (2) Good night (1501) Bad night (660)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair

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  (+61): I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair http://tfl.nu/4pnl
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (852)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.

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  (520): Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today. http://tfl.nu/5rxw
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (334)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We're not piercing ourselves today.

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  (405): We're not piercing ourselves today. http://tfl.nu/89v4
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (331)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?

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  (732): Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right? http://tfl.nu/3fwy
  Replies (9) Good night (811) Bad night (338)

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