iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?