dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."