i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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