ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
