Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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