My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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