I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
