I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
