They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
