Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
