I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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