I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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