She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
