I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
