the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
