I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
