so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
