I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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