He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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