You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
