This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
