I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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