My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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