you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
