all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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