she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
