Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My vagina is officially offended.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
