My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
