Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
