Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
