Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
